So, I’ve had past week and a half in which I could, theoretically, mass edit the last year’s worth of photographs, clean, purge the pile of holy crap company’s coming so throw this all in the computer room/basement, get a hair cut, clean some more, paint the hall and – hey why not! – start getting my photo projects organized too.

To date, I got that hair cut.

I have also had several lunch dates, coffee dates, walks in the woods, shopping trips and times spent amusing the cat. I have been working on the school routine, supplies, uniforms and all the paperwork that comes with it. I have sent my parents photos of her first day of school. I have taken the time to do nothing. I have taken the time to start kindergarten sanely.

Honestly, the whole kindergarten process and been underwhelming and stressful all at once. I have no idea what I’m doing – in terms of meeting expectations – as it’s only the second week and the school is still getting the expectations distributed. And I’m still figuring out what SigOther’s, the Magpie’s and my own expectations are. We’re winging it during a designated grace period with the underlying fear that comes from being in the dark even though we know there’s nothing to trip over and there are tonnes of folks around looking out for you. The school’s not worried, so I’m not. Mostly.

But the kid is loving school. There is no concern about that. She’s bringing home questions, songs and stories. She has friends she plays with. She has a teacher she hugs every morning. She’s exhausted every night and wants to go back to school every day. She has already confused SigOther with the four phrases of French she’s learned. She is keeping very busy and involved.

She’s more than making up for my slacking this past week and a half.

By 915am, the Magpie hit the kids’ club so SigOther and I could hit the spa. We had a steam room/ mud session booked and fully intended to relax away the past few days. Body scrubs, muds, steam and skin care later, we sat on a warm stone seat with a glass of champagne before picking up our child from her Toy Story boot camp; we were steamed clean and rubber-muscled while she was wearing camo face paint and dog tags, calling left, left, left, right, left! down the hall back to our room.

The next last-minute event involved the shops: a souvenir for each of us. Any and all Ladies’ Medium sized anything were gone, but I managed to convince myself that these were a bit more generously sized clothes and bought a small sleep shirt anyway. SigOther and the Magpie each picked a shirt of their own and the Magpie also came away with a watch and some pirate tattoos.

She then later – much later, in exhaustion at bedtime when she saw Minnie of tv –  questioned why she did not get the Minnie Mouse dress that she wanted… (um, because it cost a small fortune??)

After a light lunch it was time to pack and chill out. We are getting of the boat tomorrow. Early. Damn early. With plans to take advantage of the express disbark debark disembowel disembark get off the boat option, we have to be the first ones at the door and there will time to pack in the morning. There were opportunities to do more and more things today – as there has been throughout the cruise – that we haven’t taken advantage of. Our friends have taken their girl around for multiple character meets, events, shows and photos. We’ve attended some. This was another day where we parted ways and we stayed in the cabin and took the quieter route for a few hours. After the worst of the organizing was done in a relatively sane manner, it was time for the Magpie to go to the kids’ club to prepare for their final extravaganza: a show put on for the parents.

I napped.

I did manage to get up in time, though, to get to the main show theatre with SigOther and find a great seat. We watched several hundred little critters dance (and I use the term loosely) on stage with their counsellors, Mickey and Minnie while photos of the time spent in the club flashed across the screen. We even get to keep the t-shirt that each little kid wore for the performance. It was adorable and fun and very, very Disney. I swear they’re recruiting them already.

And then it was time for the last supper.

Having eaten lightly all day, we were prepared for a final stuffing. But I think the kitchen has these things all figured out as this dinner seemed to be lighter and back on proportion. It was just as amazingly tasty and perfect as the dinners we’ve had this entire week and it was a great way to end the cruise.

We watched the final theatrical show as it was broadcast on tv, did the just-before-the-last-minute packing and caught the local orca whales and porpoises on the camera before getting the Magpie to bed.

While filling out the comment card, we came to the question of how likely we were to take another Disney cruise in the next five years. I am Undecided. SigOther is Very Likely. This is, really, a floating resort. A big, crazy floating resort with the potential to be very overwhelming. There are spots of sanity, but you have to find them and, in some cases, pay for them. The port time are short and sweet but left me feeling like I’d missed out with the brevity. Would I take a shorter cruise – perhaps Vancouver to San Francisco – instead of, say, a flight? Absolutely. But I’m not sure about a full cruise vacation. It was awesome. The ship, the amenities and the staff were all amazing. And now I can say I’ve been there, done that.

Next year, we’re going camping.

The ship hauled ass last night, through narrows and straits, past outcroppings and glaciers and amidst winds and swells. It was a noisy, rolling night and no one woke fresh this morning – least of all me. We had our character breakfast this morning with Disney icons making their rounds to the tables for autographs and photo ops. I had lots and lots of coffee. I think our waiter is getting worried about our new-found intent to eat like normal people and has begun putting extra, unordered food on my plate. I didn’t eat it anyway and simply drank another cup of coffee.

Oh, coffee. The stuff on board is weak, nearly flavoured and, even black, I can drink it like water. That’s not a good thing. I broke down and ordered my first specialty coffee today, for which I had to pay. It was okay, but probably tasted better than it would have on any Vancouver day. SigOther’s tea was more expensive that my mocha. Okay, he did get a bodum of loose leaves, but it’s still a bit steep (no pun intended). I am dearly looking forward to brewing my own Ethical Beans when I get home.

Today we rolled into Ketchikan just before noon. The morning was spent wandering the ship, watching for a few elusive killer whales and letting the girls play in the kids’ club. I am behaving myself and not spending a small fortune for a shitty internet connection to go online and try to update my statuses without making reference to the fact that I’m on vacation and my house is empty. So I typed, SigOther read and we watched the houses become denser and the cloud cover become heavier as we approached dock. Ketchikan was the last stop on our trip, yet we almost didn’t get off the boat. Tired travellers, wind, rain and the fact that our berth was the unqualified farthest from the downtown core made the effort to get off the boat a little more difficult. But we rallied and disembarked to make the trek through the drizzle and through a tunnel to the shops and sights. Since no one wanted to wander aimlessly through jewellery stores again, we hit the tourist centre and found out the way to the hatchery and eagle centre center. The route passed through the boardwalked Creek Street and Fox Bay Lodge, with its totem poles and, conveniently, a restaurant. It also meant another tram ride up the side of a hill. At lunch, we soon realised that the kids weren’t going to make it on the final leg of the walk and decided to return, instead, through a series of treetop trails back to the shops and boats.

Ketchikan by far has their act together better when it comes to the tourist experience. We didn’t get into Juneau and, honestly, we in no way felt compelled to visit Juneau. We were told that the shopping area was a segregated section of town and it appeared to be a strip of shops no different from those we saw in Skagway. This is, based on our complete lack of town experience, a horribly unfair assessment of the city of Juneau. But Ketchikan felt much approachable, friendly and alive. With Juneau’s population spread out over thousands of square miles, it felt vast and rural. And that was the appeal there. Ketchikan was more condensed and felt lived in, yet still with amazing wilderness all around. Despite our original misgivings, we were all glad that we had made the trip in.

SigOther, the girls and our friends took in a matinée, leaving me with a top deck 360 photo-op of our last port of call and a camera with a full card that needed culling. Having taken the final few photos, I returned to the room and couldn’t bring myself to open the computer. My legs were sore from yesterday’s hike up the mountain and our cabin is woefully inadequate for stretching. So I got changed and headed up to the fitness centre in the hopes that I could snag a spot on the floor to stretch out or, barring that, a chaise to relax with a foot massager. Bonus: on arrival there was one other woman stretching and one guy lifting weights and there were mats laid out. After a few minutes, the staff asked if we (myself and the other woman) were there for the yoga class. It was only 30 minutes but it covered all the ground I needed.

Back and geared up for dinner, the Magpie nearly fell asleep as we were getting ready. But ready we got – semi-formal for the captain’s dinner – and off we headed for lobster and seafood. As with all the other sit-down dinners, the adults menu was nothing short of amazing. The girls ate, but not much, as has been their route. They are smarter than the rest of us. We appalled our server when no one ordered dessert this evening, not even the girls. The youngsters ended the night at the kids’ club and the adults got through a bottle of Catena malbec before we took the two kids for their 2^nd sleep over.

I have copied over 2,000 photos from my camera to the computer and have spent the last 30 minutes randomly deleting obvious duplicates so that I might have some room for any photo ops tomorrow. Redundancy is good. But it’s time consuming.

It’s 9:45pm and they’re both fast asleep. We just have to try to move them out of our bed and then all should be well.

I just picked up the bedside clock in an effort to face the overwhelming backlighting away from me. I somehow hit a combination of buttons that reset it to midnight…

Fortunately, we don’t need to be at our special character breakfast until 8am tomorrow morning, so we should be okay.

After writing last night, I sat out on the balcony for over an hour, just watching the mountains and ocean glide by. It was amazingly relaxing and I was looking forward to having more rocks and trees around me today, in Juneau. But first, we had to get off the boat.

We have given up on eating at the big buffet near the top and on from the pool-side offerings. For some reason, the free-for-all, cafeteria style buffet appeals to the masses. There are always one or two other facilities open for breakfast and lunch. Seated, calmer and less buffet like. But at least the food in the crazy buffet generally has some very good options. In a facility where the dining can be phenomenal, the pool side burgers, pizza, chicken strips and fries are bizarrely awful. Even the kids’ menu in the main dining is a bit sketchy: starchy, bland and processed. We’ve asked the Magpie to order some of the bigger kid options and, today, she shared my lunch dish.

But I digress. Sufficed to say, we’ve figured out how to eat well and within the physical bounds of our stomachs.

This morning, I started off upstairs on the treadmill with a view of Juneau out the window. Fifty minutes later, I discovered the fitness centre showers. Having returned to the safety of our room to shower in days past, I stayed upstairs today and it was incredibly worth it: the fitness centre showers are amazing compared to our lowly stateroom. If that is representative of gyms in general (and I’m doubtful…), I would be willing to hang out on treadmills more…

But, no time for that. After breakfast, we loaded up our bags and cameras and made our way off the boat, stopping by for a photo-op with Donald Duck on the way. We had selected a tram ride up Mt. Roberts as our excursion for the day – we deemed it along the same lines as the Grouse Mountain tram and park area – for the walk and non-shopping component.

We got to the top of the tram and visited with the injured bald eagle who was representing the raptor centre before taking a wander up the trails that led further up Mt. Roberts. The girls climbed a few trees and wandered the paths for a bit until they became tired: that didn’t take long. It certainly didn’t take long enough for me, when there were trail markers telling me there were so many lookouts and viewings just around the corners. So, with blessings, I forged ahead while the remainder of my group wandered the lower trails back to the gift shop and restaurant. I returned the water bottle to SigOther, lest the Magpie got thirsty.

I walked up past several lookouts and a sign that warned me not to go further unless I have good shoes (check), water (um…) and was prepared to stay the night (my boat was leaving in 6 hours…so, no). There was even a line of stones in the trail that mocked my crossing of the invisible barrier to my certain embarrassment when I was the lone hiker to delay an entire cruise ship with my folly of getting lost in the wide open fields above the treeline.

Though I saw no large, carnivorous, rugged Alaskan mammals (two-legged or four), there were plenty of skittish songbirds, butterflies, blue-bottle flies and mosquitoes to keep me company. There were several other tourists venturing beyond the lower trails and locals as well, the latter of which made me more interested in continuing the hike. I mean, if the locals enjoyed the walk up, then surely it was worthy.

The trail kept going. I stopped when I reached my first patch of snow. I would have loved to continue but not without having communication with the remaining party below first. And lunch. Which I did not pack. But my sanity had been restored. Even this small piece of sanitized wilderness was enough to take the edge off. Too many people and too much boat had begun to get to me. A few rocks under my feet and greenery around me has made all the difference today. But I had to leave it before the family – and the boat – left me.

no one would hike up with me, so I had to take my own damn photo

On my return, I found SigOther and the Magpie in the gift shop, just getting ready to consider their next move (find me or leave me). We wandered around a few more minutes to pick up our token Alaskan wares and headed back to the ship for a late lunch. No one was up for wandering the streets looking at more jewellery shops.

Though, based on the view from the boat and the view from Mt. Roberts, Juneau is a gorgeous town. Time and travel permitting, I would love to be able to visit the town and area itself – without the cruise, without the kitsch, without the rush. It felt like Yellowknife and looks like British Columbia.

The afternoon passed: from the top deck, we watched a hang glider soar above Mt. Roberts while we played cards. The girls and dads went swimming while the moms took in some of the northern sun that has yet to grace Vancouver this summer. We went back in with a little time to spare before readying ourselves for pirate night. With makeup, head scarves, feather swords and tattoos in place, we managed to eat proportionate meals and get out of dinner with our guts intact. The Magpie wanted to go for pirate stories at the kids’ club and we said goodnight to our friends before heading our separate ways.

Watching whales splash and dive in front our cabin’s veranda as the light faded on the snow-capped mountains ended the evening before we brought the Magpie back to bed.

We have already lost track of the days (okay, I’d lost track of the days back on day 2, but that’s me). The days are so broken up, the meals run together and scenery is a lot of gorgeous oceans and mountains with little context. I am going to have a lot of great photos that all look an awful lot alike…

Some time last night, our ship made its way up another narrow passage and docked in Skagway, Alaska. A mere stones’ throw from Canada, but Alaska none-the-less. We awoke at a reasonable hour and, after SigOther took his turn at a bit of exercise and a dip in the hot tub, we went for breakfast to fortify ourselves for the epic 3 block walk into the town hamlet side-streets village of Skagway.

Nested on the waters’ edge at the base of rugged, pine-spotted hills, its entire existence would appear to be based on selling semi-precious gemstones and northern-esque trinkets to sea-legged tourists either before or after they travel around the hilltops and glaciers by one of the many local helicopters or passenger trains. Home to just shy of 900 people, I feel it very unlikely that many of the residents are actually locals. I guess it’s no better or worse than the populace in, say, Whistler or any other town whose livelihood is based solely on the (in)discretionary spending of others.

no, this has nothing to do with Hogwarts...

Despite my threats, I came away with no new jewellery. I have tumbled stones and quartz crystals, along with a small ball of musk ox based yarn. It’s amazing stuff – though pricey when not blended – and I’ll have to find some new, smaller needles and the where-with-all to attempt the accompanying scarf pattern.

After a slow wander from one end of town to the other and back, we found a few seals and a martin near the docks before boarding by noon. Lunch was followed by a swim and some down-time before supper.

Tonight, SigOther and I had a supper on the top deck – the adults’ restaurant. We had a spectacular table right at the back of the boat in the widow with a late afternoon view on the inlet and surrounding mountains. Dinner ended just as the ship left the docks and began to make its turn to head back for inside passage. The Magpie is spending the evening in the neighbouring cabin with her friend (so far so good, as I type this) and we will be returning the favour by hosting her friend for a sleepover on Day 6. They made a walk around the deck and waved at us through the window before resuming their evening tour of the boat.

This whole cruise has been a big change of scenery for both of them and the Magpie has commented several times how much she misses her day care friends. We spent time at a small playground in Skagway today that the Magpie was thrilled to find: something familiar. The ship is truly big and epic, in every way possible.

And, as with everything on the ship, the dining experience is big and epic. We discovered earlier today that we are done eating. Seriously done. Why do we feel compelled to order appetizers, mains and desserts with every dinner and even today’s sit down lunch? Just because we’re ordering salads and seafood doesn’t mean the portion size is anywhere near appropriate. And then we went for dinner tonight, where the suggestion was to order extras, sides, desserts, coffees… even more! Sure, it’s a great deal, but we both left to come back to our room and literally beach ourselves on the bed, each seriously contemplating the merits and pitfalls of ipecac (which we don’t have on us and would be hard pressed to get without explanation, I’m sure… or, given the over-dining options, perhaps not).

Three days of gluttony has run its course. We’re on the homebound stretch and the new plan involves eating a lot more reasonably. We’ve been good, really and, yes, we’re on vacation. But I’m not into eating myself ill at any time. That’s no good for us or the Magpie.

Tomorrow morning, I’m calling dibs on the fitness room. And then we go to Juneau.

I awoke in the middle of the night – though it was a hazy sort of lightness to the air – to a rolling ship and quirky stomach. I’m nauseous at the drop of a hat for so many things, but ocean swells aren’t one of them. Several glasses of wine combined one glass of whiskey, however, totally qualifies.

Note: bringing your own alcohol on board is a great idea. Just don’t drink it all (or even ¼ of it) in one night.

We woke again around 6am. It was only 6am because of the time change as we headed further west than the majority of the Pacific coastline. SigOther and I took advantage of this by attempting to burn off the booze calories in the ship’s fitness centre. Everyone else must have woken early as well with calorie laden bellies that needed reducing, but I managed to grab a treadmill and set up a 30 minute protocol without too many hiccups. With this I am happy to report that I must approach a jog to get my heart rate up to fat-burning speed. But I fear that if I were to even attempt cardio speed, I may pass out. [caveat: my exercise consists of walking and hiking outdoors or yoga classes. I don’t do gyms. I don’t do gym equipment. So, while I exercise, I don’t ever really “work out”; however, I am now disturbingly fascinated by ellipticals...]

I returned to our room in time to snag some room service before we hit a movie for the morning. We managed to get good seats for the movie we missed yesterday and made it out in time for a snack before heading out to the decks to see where we were.

Today was Tracy Arm day: glaciers.

As an added bonus, the morning started off with whales. Lots of cooperative whales, captured by lots of amazing cameras and lenses that were already staked out on the top decks for the afternoon viewings of the rugged Alaskan shoreline. We were lucky enough to have a good view from our veranda and gladly took advantage of it, with lots of photos of our own and two pre-school friends who occupied themselves in our rooms rather than all over the decks, stairways and elevators.

While we saw some gorgeous waterfalls, crazy ice formations in the water, lots of sheer rock face, a small army of seagulls, and several other intrepid ocean faring folk, we only met one (maybe two) seals, one bald eagle and one noteworthy glacier. The cruise-cam would have us believe the every small sheet of ice on the cliffs and every sizable bit of ice in the ocean was worthy of bearing the glacier name and, perhaps, technically, they all are. But, for a group of northern folk, we had our moments of being nonplussed. Stunning? Yes. Epic? Maybe not.

That’s not to say that I didn’t take hundreds of photos and stare out our balcony for hours on end with only a coffee and Baileys to keep me warm. We wore sweaters and light jackets. We waved at the unexpected Canadian Fisheries and Wildlife boat and crew. We were startled by a hummingbird zipping around without a flower in sight. Up on deck, those who had travelled from warmer climes were bundled in hats, mitts, blankets and fur-lined coats (I am not kidding). At 9pm, I am on the balcony typing this is bare feet, tights and a tank top with a light blanket. It is summer, after all.

The girls were quiet today. They played together and, despite several offerings of options to run around the ship, kept it low-key. Our friends made a late, last-minute effort to get them out, about and be touristy after the Magpie was already in her pajamas and getting ready to find her bedtime book. I went with them, in part to partake and in part to cut it short. As the ship was starting to run its late dinner service and set up for the adult-oriented evening festivities, there wasn’t much room for two five-year olds in pajamas with their stuffed animals in tow. We returned and retired to find one more whale out the window and bright sun starting to slowly making its way down into the mountains.

No more wine tonight. A little more time on deck and a view through today’s photos.

Tomorrow we see Skagway.

The day began lazily with a bit of sleep in followed by buffet breakfast and a visit to the one of the kids’ clubs. The kids went in with barely a goodbye and the parents split up to tour around the ship according to their own interests. But we soon found our own interests were short-lived: despite the inevitable arrival of a princess to lead the gathered children in dancing, our kids were bored with the proceedings in the club that was generally geared to a younger pre-school crowd. Two five-year olds, it seemed, were on the cusp of something bigger.

Something bigger…like swimming in the pouring rain. The deck was spotted with parents tucked in under umbrellas and covered seating; the smart ones had their feet up on nearby chairs to prevent the repetitive soaking flows that rolled across the deck with every movement of the ship. Some of us hardier folk were in shorts and tees with only our morning cup of coffee in one hand to keep up warm. Others were excessively bundled in gortex, toques and mittens, ready to brave the elements in their Alaskan adventure, no doubt, though we were yet to leave Canadian waters.

Eventually, the coffee wore off and the day wore closer to lunch. Children were pulled from the water and returned to their rooms to warm up, eat and find clothing appropriate to greet a princess. Or four.

Fortified with cameras and autograph books, we got in queue for meeting the Disney princesses in person. Despite the long wait, the princesses were well worth the time. They were, each, every inch a charming princess and the Magpie was in awe of getting her photograph taken in turn with Snow White, Ariel, Tiana and Belle.

The delay in line meant we were too late to attend the showing on Winnie the Pooh, so we found a snack and decided to try out the other kids’ club – the one for the slightly older crowd. We had the time to spot a whale and catch a bit of photographic evidence of his existence, if not any good ones of him in full jump.

like crop circles prove the existence of aliens, large splashes in the ocean prove the existence of whales

After the adults had another hour of downtime to check out the rest of the ship and enjoy a glass of wine, the phones rang again. The kids had had their fill of fun.

We were not sure what to make of this. There are plenty of activities but the kids aren’t forced to participate, and perhaps that’s what the girls are running with. They are still used to daycare and kindergarten. They’re used to being a captive audience. Given the freedom to choose, they take it but find the alternative boring. Even parents are more fun than hanging out with activities that may be too young or a bit too old. And, really, how am I to complain that my kid would rather spend time with me? I’m not going to. She spends enough time in daycare and this is a family vacation. We spent rest of the afternoon playing cards, relaxing and getting ready for dinner. The Formal Dinner.

Formal dinner night meant more princess gowns (for the kids, this time) and serving staff in tuxedos. It also meant photos taken by the ship’s staff and a tour of the photo gallery after dinner to preview our princess pics. The photographers did a great job, but spend the $10 for each 6×8 photo? I think not. There is a digital photo package available…but it’s going to depend on how many photos we end up in that I don’t have decent versions of on my own camera. And, even then, it’ll be a struggle to pay the funds. Sorry, Disney, I appreciate a well-done photo, but I could spend that money on more camera equipment of my own.

Tomorrow is photo-op day for Alaska. We get to Tracy Arm and our side of the boat seems to be the side to be on for photos. We don’t even have to leave our rooms. With a movie planned in the morning and a quieter day around the boat, we’ll be ready for some fine sight-seeing.

West coast weather permitting.

The worst part of the day? Killing time for over three hours in the morning. What we thought would be the most brilliant thing ever – to have a few hours to complete the final pack, wash the breakfast dishes and make a final, unhurried once-over – turned into dragging minutes and a cranky kid, anxious to be on her way to the Disney boat and Alaska. We left early and staked out a table at a nearby coffee shop before making our way down into the city’s port terminal.

Having done as much as we could in advance, online, it seemed we were set. Once we breezed through customs, the boarding process and registration, our presence was announced to the ship and acknowledged by the scant dozen or so staff in the lobby whose sole purpose in life appeared to be being thrilled with the fact that we set foot on the boat. It was, disturbingly, kind of cool…

We found our rooms and stared at the compact little bathrooms and the various ad-filled brochures. We found the kids’ clubs. We found the pools and the junk food. After we ate the junk food, we found the fruits and deli bar.

Shortly before leaving dock, we were instructed to find our way to our emergency muster station for the ship’s drill. This is where things started going sideways Disney. Somehow, a serious emergency drill about the potential sinking o f a gigantic ship full of children was presented like a pep-rally where each section of drill attempted to out-cheer the next. After getting super excited about our floatation devices, we were sent to the upper decks for a welcome party as we left Vancouver. And this is where is got a lot more Disney… high energy staff: check. Lots of yelling and chanting: check. Loud music: check. Dancing and jumping up and down: check. Pretty people flashing across the screen having far too much fun under the guise of actually running our ship: check. Costumed characters: check. It was everything I was worried about in a Disney cruise, yet I appear to have survived it. The Magpie took it all in stride at the time, but was visibly overwhelmed once it ended. We returned to the room to find our luggage and a few moments before our dinner seating.

Dinner was presided over by our own dedicated servers and attended by Mickey – complete with full fanfare and dancing wait staff. Reasonable sized portions were an added bonus, as was the readiness of the staff to accommodate food allergies.  SigOther’s recent birthday resulted in additional fanfare at our table, and additional desserts.

All this ended in kids asking to return to our rooms to go to bed. Without fuss. A quick shower, a quick story and it was off to bed. With time for SigOther and I to open a bottle of wine we brought and sit out on our deck to watch the Pacific coast sail by.

So I literally was not online at all for a week.

I survived.

SigOther has lost the unspoken bet. I don’t think he knows that yet, but he’ll find out.

I did have my outlets. I may not have been online, but I still blogged. I think it used to be called journalling. So, sit back and we’ll start at the beginning.

before July 19, 2011

Preamble: I’ve never wanted to cruise, I don’t want to go to Disneyland and I’ve already been to Alaska. Twice.

There are benefits to my type A tendencies. For example, I have often already thought about the annual larger holiday early on in the year and get my heart set on it before anyone comes up with a better idea.

Not so this year.

After last year – with an elderly pet to look after – we didn’t get away and we spent a lot of time and energy not making plans. So it was easy to get into not doing anything and, though I had vague ideas for a getaway this year, I was unprepared when family friends approached us with the idea of a Disney cruise to Alaska. Their daughter is, conveniently, the Magpie’s best friend ever in the history of best friends. The ship is departing from Vancouver this year – and this year only – running a circle route to return to Vancouver in a seven-day trip.

But it’s a cruise.

It’s a Disney cruise.

This would involve thousands of people trapped on a boat and far too many of them would be paid to be eternally chipper, perky and over-the-top. I would be somehow obligated to be eternally chipper, perky and over-the-top in return. Oh, and maintain and retain a friendship that hasn’t gone beyond a few hours of conversation at a time and set up a week of neighbouring berths, shared meals and shared parenting. How could this possible end well?

It doesn’t matter: the kids will love it.

So, I do laundry. I pack. I buy a new zoom lens and UV filter for the camera. I stock up on wine.

Maybe Captain Jack Sparrow will be on board. I wonder if he likes malbec?

Yet, here we are, with plans to phone a local shelter to discuss the option of adopting a cat: an adult cat, who would be okay by themselves, indoors during the day and okay with a pre-schooler around in the evening. One who would be okay living in a house where dogs and cats have lived before.

The Magpie set me up and nailed me to the August long weekend as The Day to Phone the Shelter back in April. She wanted a cat then and there. We wanted a bit of a summer without a pet. So we arrived at the August long weekend. And, now it’s nearly the August long weekend. And the Magpie remembers that we’re getting a cat.

She wants to have a cat to play with, feed and look after. It’s the look after part that I’m looking to exploit encourage. So I’m on the search for an age appropriate set of realistic expectations for a five-year old regarding pet care. Help with daily feeding and checking the water, daily play time and regular brushing? She’s lived with two elderly pets before and remembers how much work they can be.

This isn’t the Magpie’s cat; it’s the family’s cat. It’s a family member. Everyone’s got a guideline and they all make reasonable sense. But, at the end of the day, we will all be involved and, if nothing else, seeing our involvement will only serve [I theorize] to encourage her’s. And seeing the way it is will simply become the way it is without a chore component.

Because I’m terribly optimistic like that.